The Ocean is Awash in Dorks · Jun 25, 10:32 AM
It is certainly a sign in how far removed I have become from my days as a girl-hustling teenager that I write this. I was of course the slow poke on the boardwalk this past week pushing my cart loaded with numerous umbrellas, beach chairs (the heavy kind from crate & barrell) and winnie the pooh beach towels. As I shuffled down the avenue munching a peacemaker sandwich – crab cake, 2 fried oysters and 2 fried shrimp on a po’ boy and made by old school lesbians named Pat and George – I couldn’t miss the shambles that pass for young men these days.
I know it has always been this way, but now that I can view the proceedings from a different perspective, I see it for what it really is. A dork-a-rama! If you are 16-21 and can not figure out why girls won’t date you – it is because you are a dork. You dress and act in a way that reflects absolutely no confidence in what you are doing. You are sooo uncomfortable performing this act, whether it is tough talking, b-boying, or fake jocking that it makes girls not only not want to talk to you but to avert their eyes all together. The fellas that get the ladies have at least some sense of being themsleves. Even if they look like total pricks – well… it is because they are pricks. And they are okay with that.
Just be yourself and all that huggy 70’s business. I will be eating a cheesesteak from Gus and Gus while I laugh at you from the skeeball alley…
— John Foster
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