Crush of the Week · Sep 4, 10:54 AM
This is where I usually default to Morticia Addams or Sydney from Melrose Place but I have recently been overtaken by a haunting image. Now, despite that whipped cream scene in that movie with James Van Der Dawson, I have never really been an Ali Larter fan. She is a little too… “tan” for me. A little brassy. However, she has taken hold of my home from her perch on the cover of Self magazine (we always have magazines like this in the house and I never see anyone reading them.) This particular issue has managed to stay at the front of the magazine rack for weeks. There she is day in and day out taunting me with her toned flat stomach and her natural boobs. That upturned smile and come hither eyes. I am just a man of flesh and bone. What chance do I have against such a devilish quarter-sized representation of the feminine form?
Thank god Martha Stewart hasn’t been sitting there all this time…
— John Foster
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